'We’re given our families. Thank God we can choose our friends!’ cynical saying

For many people, their own families are great sources of comfort and security - the cynical saying above doesn’t make sense to everyone by any means. Nevertheless, disharmony within families is hardly uncommon. Families in conflict sometimes need to borrow the more objective intelligence of a counsellor or group of counsellors.

Human Givens approaches to family therapy encourage family members to find ways to understand each other better, to help each other meet their innate needs and make the most of their capacities. This often means seeing things in new ways – and equally, doing things in new ways..

Effective counselling for families is largely solution focused. It is generally more useful to look for effective ways forward rather than raking over past conflicts and resentments. Family members may, however, be encouraged to understand better why and how conflicts have arisen in the past. Individuals may also need effective brief past-focused interventions where difficult or traumatic events and memories are involved

The Emotional System:  It also helps to develop an understanding of how the emotional system works and what happens during an ‘emotional hi-jacking’. It’s best if this is combined with learning effective methods of diffusing anger and other extreme emotional reactions, of relaxation and imaginative rehearsal of new patterns in addition to various cognitive techniques..

Family sessions during which all family members are present may be combined with one-to-one and/or sessions for couples, brothers and sisters etc. It is usual for counsellors to negotiate aims, targets and interim tasks with the family unit and individual family members.